


They say silent is gold (but I can't read your mind)

by capn_cecil_ang



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-18
Updated: 2014-07-18
Packaged: 2018-02-09 09:46:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1978248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capn_cecil_ang/pseuds/capn_cecil_ang
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two part drabble situated before the end of first season and after the beginning of second season. I really don't know how to describe it, so... read the notes maybe? :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A "party" for two

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Owen's and Ianto's quarell in Captain Jack Harkness episode, especially Owen's quote about how Ianto is basically unimportant, which was IMHO for one, really rude and for two, really hurtfull. (I really like Owen, but he really deserved that shot that time. GJ Ianto!)

              Ianto tried to pay attention to the stuff he was archiving deep down in the depths of the Hub, but his mind was constantly going back to the last night’s dream. A dream, where he and Jack were in... well... not quite decent passionate situation. If it only was that one dream, he sighed. But last few weeks he had similar dreams over and over again. Almost every night, still in different situation, different room, on different occasion – but there was still one constant – him and Jack having sex in the end. If it only was bad, Ianto wished. But it felt good, it felt... orgasmic... it felt, mesmerising. And it made Ianto thinking, how good it would be in real life. And what was even worse, he noticed that he was slipping to similar thoughts even during the day. When he was simply watching Jack, or when he brought him coffee and Jack flashed at him one of those glamorous grins. Ianto caught himself thinking about Jack much lately. He found himself thinking about how it would be in reality, if it would be that good as in his dreams. But he didn’t dare to act out on it. He didn’t want to. Because he knew if he once started, there wouldn’t be the way back. He tried to suppress his feelings, but there just was something what kept him intrigued when it came to Jack, something what kept him hooked. He couldn’t stop thinking about the other man. He couldn’t stop wishing there would be maybe something more between them. He couldn’t stop wishing Jack would really need him. But Owen was right. He didn’t have anything, only his _sad wet dreams when he was his part-time shag, maybe_. And Ianto knew that would never change, because even if he or Jack started something, it would never be anything more than a part-time shag. Jack would never choose him. Not over Gwen, or anyone else for that matter. He was... insignificant, replaceable, unimportant – just a tea-boy, nothing more.

            Ianto looked at his watch and noticed it was almost twelve. He sighed heavily and closed the last open drawer. He wasn’t paying attention to it anyway, he may as well finish it tomorrow. All he wanted to accomplish with this was to delay his sleep, so he wouldn’t need to deal with those... dreams... again. And there was it again. No matter how tired or exhausted he was, there was always a pit of arousal forming in his stomach every time he thought of Jack. And sometimes it got really hard to cover up, especially when the man was standing right in front of him. Ianto felt like a teenager again – gaining an unwanted hard on only when he saw Jack leant over the table slightly, or when their shoulders brushed and Ianto could smell his essence. But that was just what Jack was doing to Ianto. He couldn’t suppress it and he didn’t want to act on it, so everything he had was his sad jerk offs every morning in his little bathroom, with Jack’s name on his lips.

“Cachu!” Ianto swore in his native language as he felt his half hard cock getting erected again. He tried to restrain himself, palming the base of his cock through his trousers, but as soon as he closed his eyes to breath it out, images from last night popped up. “Holy shit!” Ianto swore again, feeling his cock demanding his attention. Ianto knew he shouldn’t be doing it, but he was too weak and too tired to restrain himself. He swiftly took of his suit jacket and waistcoat, staying only in the purple shirt and tie. Jack’s favourite – at least that’s what he told him.

“Oh God!” Ianto clenched his fists briefly, still trying to fight away the thoughts of his boss, but he long knew the battle was lost. He loosened his tie and swiftly unfastened his belt. As he threw his slacks and underwear to his ankles, letting his cock free, he felt a cold air brushing against his skin and gasped involuntarily. He placed one of his hands on the upper shelf of the archives, the other one moved down to grab his hard cock.

“Oh Duw!” Ianto exclaimed as he felt his hand enwrapping his member. He pictured it was Jack’s hand touching him eagerly, exploring new parts of him. He pumped his cock hard and fast, Jack’s name along with swears escaping his mouth between the breathy gasps and moans. He was close, too close, when he heard a shuffle behind him and his hand froze.

„So you’re making a party and you didn’t invite me? That hurts.” he heard an all too familiar voice behind him and the rest was quite a blurry. The next thing he remembered was Jack suddenly standing right behind him, his hand cupping Ianto’s one, still frozen on his cock.

“Tell me,” Jack whispered sensually into Ianto’s ear. “Who’s that Jack you’ve been thinking of? Should I get jealous?”

“I... I don’t...” Ianto couldn’t find anything reasonable to say. Not that he needed too. In the next few seconds one of Jack’s hands found its way down Ianto’s shirt and to his nipple, squeezing and pulling it expertly.

“Oh God, Jack!” Ianto found himself gasp for air, shuddering slightly.

“Yes Ianto! Speak to me in those nice Welsh vowels of yours. You know I love those.”

Jack’s other hand shoved aside Ianto’s one and suddenly Ianto’s cock was enwrapped by Jack’s hand for real, not only in his fantasies.

“You know I saw you on CCTV up there.” he said as he stroked Ianto’s cock.

“Jack, please.”

“You were pretty hot. Couldn’t resist to join your little party.”

“Jack I...” Ianto wanted to protest, but he got caught off guard by Jack’s hips suddenly thrusting into his body, feeling Jack’s throbbing erection on his ass.

“You what, Ianto? You didn’t know I was here? You thought I was sleeping? So you decided to jerk off while thinking about me?”

“Jack please don’t...” Ianto’s breath hitched as Jack’s hand cupped his balls suddenly, rolling them between his fingers.

“Don’t what, Ianto? Tell me what you want?” Jack never left the proximity of Ianto’s ear and his voice and the scent of him, and his whole presence was just too much on Ianto. “Don’t stop,” he said weakly, trying to suppress the tears forming in his eyes.

Ianto felt Jack’s lips forming into the smile as he kissed his way from behind Ianto’s ear down to his collar bone, stroking him fast. It didn’t take long and Ianto was coming hard into Jack’s hand, slumping helplessly into Jack’s embrace in his afterglow. He slowly half opened his eyes and could only imagine how terrible he had to look right now. Jack was still standing behind him, his left hand still holding him firm against his chest, his right working him through his orgasm. Ianto couldn’t fight it anymore and he let the tears fall down his face uncontrollably. Because he knew this wasn’t real. He knew this was just a heat of a moment. He knew Jack wouldn’t turn down a chance for good shag, but that’s it. That’s all. There was nothing more in it and it hurt like hell. Because Ianto wanted it. He wanted it all, but he knew he can’t have it. Ever.

            It was not long when Jack noticed something was wrong. He loosened his grip on Ianto ever so slightly so he could turn him towards himself properly and looked him in the eyes. „Hey! What’s up? What’s wrong, Ianto?”

“Nothing,” Ianto said as the tears were still streaming down his face.

„Hey, you are terrible liar, you know that?” Jack smiled but as he saw his smile wasn’t returned, he frowned. „What is it, Ianto? Talk to me.”

„It’s nothing, sir.” Ianto said coldly as he disengaged himself from Jack’s embrace and tugged himself back in his clothes properly. „I hope you’ve enjoyed this encounter, sir. I think I will go home now.”

„Ianto, wait!” Jack exclaimed, grabbing Ianto by the shoulder in attempt to stop him. „So this is how it’s gonna be? We’re gonna act like nothing happened and this was just a convenient shag between two co-workers?”

Ianto shrugged him off and bent to grab his jacket from the ground where he recklessly let it fall few minutes ago. “And wasn’t it?” he said, only half turned to look at his boss.

Jack stayed there taken aback, totally at loss of words. When he finally figured out what to say the silence was pierced by the alarm and all he could notice was Ianto’s figure disappearing behind the shelves and the sound of his voice slowly fading: “There has been rift activity. I need to check it out.”

            And so was Jack left to stay alone in cold dark room in the middle of the night, with nothing, but his thoughts and unreciprocated feelings.


	2. I came back for you (and only you)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A date night, yay! Ianto and Jack finally got on the date they've been talking about in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (thought there's not that much of the date in this after all) :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writen after Kiss Kiss Bang Bang primarly because if there is one thing I hate about english language, it's the word "you" and how you never know if it is singular or plural ... and it irked me really good in this episode so this is my headcanon for that fraking word!!!!!!!!

                   Ianto and Jack made their way towards the railing at the bottom of the bay. They both leaned against it and fixed their eyes on sky.

“I never realised how beautiful the sky is in here in the evening,” Ianto said, looking at the breathtaking image above them.

“It is yet more beautiful up there,” Jack smirked, glancing back at Ianto’s profile. “Maybe one day I’ll take you to see the stars, Ianto Jones.”

Ianto made a small smile and lowered his gaze. “Sometimes, I don’t know if you’re serious or if you’re joking, sir,” he smiled sadly and looked back up to the sky. Jack slowly extended his hand and caressed Ianto’s hands, gently folded on the top of the railing.

“We’re on date, Ianto,” he said softly. “You should really stop calling me sir.”

Ianto looked down at their hands and swallowed hard. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” Jack extended his other hand and caressed Ianto’s cheek gently. Ianto turned and looked up to meet Jack’s eyes, sparkling with the light of the street lamps. Jack smiled softly and slowly leaned in, joining their lips together. It struck Ianto like a lightning, like a sudden thunderstorm was echoing in his ears. Jack’s lips broke off suddenly, leaving Ianto staggered and stunned.

“You ok, Ianto?”

“Yes, yes I am.” Ianto said a bit too quickly. “I just... I’m not used to this... I mean, there may be someone who’ll see us.”

“Right. Not a big fan of PDA, huh?” Jack smirked slightly, a play-full spark dancing in his eyes. “What about we’ve take it to the Hub, then? Night’s still young. This date doesn’t need to end here.”

“Right. Sure.”

Oh yeah, this was definitely Jack’s lucky night.

 

            As soon as they got to the elevator, Jack couldn’t keep his hands of Ianto. He started kissing and sucking at his neck, slowly but precisely loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt.

“Jack,” Ianto breathed out under Jack’s body, his back pressed to the wall of elevator. “What if... what if someone’s in Hub?”

“Everyone’s gone,” Jack murmured into the soft skin of Ianto’s neck. “We’re alone. Just you and me.”

“Jack I,” Ianto wanted to say something but was cut off by Jack’s lips crushing his in demanding force.

            By the time they got to Jack’s office, they were both only in their trousers, pieces of clothes scattered on the floor, making a nice path from the entrance to Jack’s office.

“You know,” Jack said as he regained the former enthusiasm in sucking marks into Ianto’s neck, “I can’t deny I wasn’t picturing how this would be... you know, you and me, here... alone.”

He continued to make his way down to Ianto’s chest, his hands quickly unbuckling the other man’s belt. “Especially since that night in the archives. Oh Ianto. You don’t even know how many times I’ve been replaying that footage.” Ianto’s eyes widened and he wanted to say something, when he felt Jack’s lips on his nipple, sucking hard and all he could make was the guttural moan, accompanied by quiet uttering of Jack’s name.

“Tell me, Ianto,” Jack said as he got back up, cupping Ianto’s face gently, “were you thinking about this too?”

“I...” Ianto’s breath hitched. What point was in hiding it now? Jack knew. And if this was the closest he could get to Jack, if by letting him shag him was the farthest they could go in their relationship, well, let’s be it.

“You know I did... many times.” Ianto said not able to hide his pain behind those words and he felt Jack’s falter for a brief moment.

Ianto looked up to Jack’s eyes and saw there was concern and worry in them. But he didn’t let himself fooled. If Jack wanted to shag, they were going to shag, but nothing more. They were definitely not going to talk about it. Not now. Ianto’s hands made their way towards Jack’s hips, pulling them forward to his, thrusting their erected cocks together. Jack gasped at the contact and Ianto used that moment of inattention to launch at Jack’s mouth and kissed him hungrily, leaving all other thoughts behind.

 

            Ianto found himself with his head buried in pillow in Jack’s room under his office, trying to muffle his moans and screams as Jack was thrusting into him from behind.

“Oh God!” he heard Jack behind him, breathing heavily, his hands roaming over his back. Suddenly he felt Jack’s weight shifting and felt Jack’s body above him.

“You are so beautiful, Ianto,” Jack whispered into Ianto’s ear breathlessly, as his thrusts became more erratic.

Ianto felt his cock being overwhelmed by the pressure and not long after he found himself coming too, spurting all over Jack’s covers. He closed his eyes, trying to suppress the tears that were forming in his eyes. He felt Jack’s lips on his shoulder, caressing it softly, as Jack murmured: “You were amazing, Ianto.”

And Ianto wanted to believe that. He wanted to believe Jack really cared about him, that this wasn’t just convenient shag. He felt Jack pulling out of him slowly, grunting slightly and sprawling next to him on the small bed. Ianto turned on his side, backing Jack, making more space for him. He heard Jack stripping of his condom and throwing it somewhere at the corner of the bed. He reminded himself he needed to clean it tomorrow when he will be tidying Jack’s room.

“So... this was your first time with a man?” Jack asked intrigued a bit, his voice still a bit breathy. He probably knew the answer, but he was still a bit curious if he was right.

“Yes,” Ianto said quietly, sitting up and searching for his underwear in the dark.

“Well then,” Jack turned his gaze to Ianto’s back, “how was it?” he asked with a smirk.

“It was... good.” Ianto said not even looking at Jack. He found his boxers by hand and awkwardly pulled it on.

“Just good? Now that hurts.” Jack made a face. “Nobody ever rate me on just ‘good’.”

He sat up too, kissing Ianto’s back gently. “Maybe we should try for another round so you could re-evaluate your decision?”

Ianto closed his eyes briefly, breathing in a deep breath. “Sure,” he turned around and crushed his and Jack’s lips together in hungry passionate kiss. Ianto’s hand made its way down to Jack’s groin, enwrapping the hot flesh.

“Mmmm,” Jack broke the kiss suddenly, pulling away from Ianto with frown and pushing away his hand from his cock. “Hey hey! Wait right there,” he huffed a small laugh. “I was just joking, Ianto. You don’t need to...” and then Jack just stopped. He stopped and looked at Ianto properly. He knew something wasn’t quite right, but he didn’t want to push Ianto into anything. But this was it, the final line. He couldn’t bear to look at him anymore – so broken and so sad. Jack cupped Ianto’s cheek tenderly, trying to get other man to look at him. “What’s wrong, Ianto?”

“I think I'll go,” Ianto said, preparing to stand up and climb the ladder leading to Jack’s office. But Jack didn’t let go of his hand, nor his other hand stopped caressing his face.

“Why don’t you lay here with me for a while?”

“Jack I...” Ianto started but Jack interrupted him: “Please? Do it for me.”

Ianto sighed and laid down next to Jack, feeling slightly uncomfortably. Jack propped on his elbow and tenderly caressed Ianto’s chest and arm closer to him.

“What's going on, Ianto? You know you can talk to me?”

“I... I'm fine.” 

“You were tensed the whole evening, like you wouldn't even be there with me. Or didn’t want to be.”

Jack moved his hand to caress Ianto’s jaw.

Ianto looked at his boss for a split of second, before he averted his gaze again.

“You’ve... you’ve got what you want, Jack, didn’t you? I don’t see the reason to stay. I think the date is over. It was nice though, thanks. Maybe we could repeat it sometimes.”

“You think this is all I want from you, Ianto? A convenient shag?”

“Yes but... I’m fine with it,” Ianto was determined not look at his boss as long as he could, so he rather locked his gaze on Jack’s hand, again placed on his chest, caressing soft chest hair on it. “I know I am nothing more for you than just a free-time activity. But that’s ok. I’m good with that. I... I know one day you leave again. And you won’t come back. So, we should make the most out of the time we still have, right? I don’t ask more from you Jack, because I know you can’t give it to me.”

Only now Ianto dared to look at Jack and what Jack saw in Ianto’s eyes broke his heart. Ianto’s eyes were full of pain, full of bitter truth. Jack leaned in to tenderly kiss Ianto on lips. Ianto gasped slightly at the touch, closing his eyes. Jack deepened the kiss, his hand going to Ianto’s hair. He kissed him slowly and softly, but he made sure Ianto knew he meant it. He made sure Ianto knew he is not going anywhere, ever.

When they broke apart, Jack leaned back only slightly, so he could look into Ianto’s eyes.

“When I was away,” Jack said quietly, “I had much time to think about things, to think about you. Much more time then you would think of. And I came back not because I needed to. I came back because I wanted to. I meant it when I said I came back for you, Ianto. I did. And I will never leave you again. Not willingly. And don’t you ever dare to think you are nothing more than just a free-time activity for me. You are much more than that, Ianto Jones. Much more.”


End file.
